Attachment

I have a problem. I adore my students. One student in particular is kind of a "favorite." No, I'm not Mary Kay Letourneau. I just have put a lot of hope in this child, and he's hit a behavioral wall. He refuses to cooperate, is getting in trouble left and right, and I don't know what I can do for him.

Here's the big problem. I'm emotionally detaching myself from this student and his family. It looks like I don't care anymore. I think I'm preparing myself for the inevitable- this child needs more help than I can provide. Thus, if I am not attached to him, it won't hurt when he continues to fail at fitting in.

I feel absolutely terribly about it.

Sunday Night

For some reason, I'm very anxious about going to school tomorrow. Not excited anxious, but scared anxious. I think I'm worried that I won't sleep well tonight. I feel the tingle of an anxiety attack, although I haven't had one in ages. Maybe I'll take a little Simply Sleep... I exercised a lot today, but maybe its not enough to put me right to sleep. However, this week will be short- two days of work, then off to Baltimore!

We went to Cici's pizza for lunch after National Treasure. I counted every piece, and I stayed on my points. I also only ate pizzas with veggies on top, which is unusual for me. I love mushrooms and onion on pizza! I've lost 17 pounds so far. I want to keep losing, and leave the plateau of 184 behind me. I think I can! G'night!

The Green Valley Book Fair

I absolutely love the GVBF. We went today (its two hours away, so its not an every weekend event), and I bought $400 worth of books for $130. Very spectacular. They have a lot of the popular books that are slightly damaged or aren't selling so great. They have tons of children's books and books for teachers. They have fiction, non-fiction, reference, EVERYTHING! It was heaven. I can't wait to finish the hilarious book on Australia by Bill Bryson so that I can start on some of my new books.

That's the highlight of my weekend. Yesterday I finished my billionth load of laundry for the week and got the prescription filled for the little patch I wore behind my ear today to prevent motion sickness. It worked well. I think it still made me pretty drowsy (or it could be that I didn't sleep so well last night), but I didn't get sick with Troy driving like a mad man through the mountains.

Henry is doing well. I haven't talked about him much. He's gone several days with no accidents in the house, but we keep him in his crate if he goes out and won't do anything. It was cold and raining this morning and Henry decided to be a diva. He didn't pee, so I put him back in his crate and promptly left town for eight hours. He really had to go when we got home.

High note of this past week? Painting the guest room (I think it looks super!) and finishing that huge research paper. Highlight of the coming week? Only working two days before heading to Baltimore for the Council for Exceptional Children Conference. I feel so professional!

Never Mind

Okay, so the bliss lasted for... um... five minutes. I'm exhausted. However, our new and improved guest room looks great! I think Troy will even like the mostly finished effect once he gets home. If I didn't have class tonight, I'd lay down and take a nap. I haven't been this tired in ages. Enough whining.

I'm also working my way through a huge amount of laundry. I guess vacation doesn't really agree with me, as I can't just sit on the couch and watch TV. If it wasn't painting and moving furniture, I would've found something else to do, I'm sure.

I've gotten a lot of grad school work taken care of. I'm not finished, but close to it, with several big projects. Its a good feeling! Tomorrow I'll rest more. I'll work on laundry, grad school stuff, and being a bum. Too bad I have work again in about four days! I miss the kids, though. That's the trouble with me. I really do love my job.

Bliss

There is a time when, while standing on a ladder with a paintbrush in my hand, I feel completely happy. Bruce Springsteen, Mary Chapin Carpenter, or the Nassoons may be blaring from the other room, and the primer isn't really covering the orange as I'd like, but I'm full of... peace. If only I could find that peace every single day! And if only the process of getting that peace didn't make me so tired. The room will just have to make do with one coat of primer. My arms hurt too much.

Its sad that its Tuesday already. That's the problem with vacations- they're always too short.

Easter

Happy Easter to all. My Easter has been very good. I went with my mother-in-law to pick out her new puppy, Daisy, and then we picked up all the things that new puppies need. In Daisy's case, they are all pink and have "Princess" written on them. When you weigh all of two pounds and prance around in your white fur like you own the place, princess is very appropriate.

Brunch today was delicious. My major feat was not eating too much. I think I did a very good job of eating in moderation. I snacked some at home this evening, but that was in moderation also. I'm fully intent on exercising everyday this week since I'm on break. There's no excuse when you can sleep in. Hurrah for sleeping in!

Later!

Good Friday

And more than anyone knows! I'm so ready for a break. I still have a lot of school work to do, but at least now I can sleep in before getting started. I also have a doctor's appointment to see about my excessive motion sickness. Hopefully he can come up with some cause and/or treatment. That would be really nice.

I got a new Easter outfit yesterday. I'll look spiffy for brunch with the in-laws!

I hope Troy remembered not to feed Henry breakfast. It would be terrible to have him puking in the car this afternoon. I guess he has the same problems I do. At least I don't throw up. Ew.

Yippee! Friday!

I'll Be Glad...

...When this week is over. I miss my students since they're so busy with "colonial week" and one of my students has just been struggling. Its getting hard- when he gets so angry and starts to cry, I nearly cry, too. I had to go to my classroom instead of sit with him in the lobby because I didn't want all the nosy parents seeing me so upset.

On a high note, one of my alternative school kids came back today for an hour. It was so good to see him interact with the other kids- he's been surrounded by adults for so long. He had a good morning, which I hope translates to more good times as he transitions back more. I just have to remember- I can't save them all.

So we're going to Cary this weekend for Easter. I'm pretty happy about it. Henry loves the fenced-in backyard Troy's parents have. He gets to run to his little heart's content. He still smells like a hippie.

I am so tired. I think its more of a "funk" than fatigue. I hope I sleep well tonight.

We're Gonna Par-tay!

So I've come up with a great idea- a pet therapy party for the end of the year. About thirty kids and seven dogs, ranging in size from miniature schauzers to standard poodles. We're going to serve all kinds of people and doggy foods. I get these great ideas as I'm trying to sleep. Its amazing when I actually remember them the next morning.

I ate a bunch of chocolate today. Bad weight watcher! I'll be better tomorrow- I ate all the chocolate that was readily available. There's no more left.

I have class tonight where we have to present on an article abstract. I really enjoy presenting much more than writing papers. My oral b.s. is better than my written b.s. Well, its time to head home to Henry and my research paper. Laters!

Not-So-Manic After All

So this week is "Colonial Williamsburg" week for the fourth grade. I won't have students for much of anything. I've gotten tons of paperwork comepleted, and I'm feeling slightly less stressed out.

Several months ago, I started doing something weird while I was trying to fall asleep. I tuck my arms under my body. I guess it started because they were cold, maybe, but now I sleep most of the night like that. The problem is that both of my arms lose circulation and "fall asleep." Then, when I wake up, I have wrinkles all over my arms that take forever to go away. Strange.

Henry peed in the house twice yesterday. He's not as potty-trained as we thought, I guess. We take him out pretty frequently, so I don't understand why he pees inside instead of outside. The mysteries of puppy-hood...

Manic Monday

The good news? I got A LOT of work done today for grad school. The bad news? Theres still A LOT left to do. Fortunately, I'm trying my best to be the most responsible little grad student I can be and get things finished early.

We got a new kitchen faucet today. Its so much nicer than the old one- no plastic knobs, no broken sprayer... Of course, the sprayer is all my fault. I slammed it into the counter numerous times a couple of weeks ago when I was angry. Plastic was flying everywhere. The new one is metal, so it won't break as easily.

The weather has been so nice. Its really a shame that I'm crammed up inside with texts in front of me, worrying about citations and references. However, Troy took advantage of it and spent time moving some plants and making our beds look pretty again. We do need mulch badly.

Hope everyone has a good week!

Weekend Update

Several intersting things are going on in the McHenry household. First of all, we got a new computer desk. Troy was getting tired of me commandeering his laptop and the dining table for my research paper, so we got a desk with more space for all the texts I'm using.

Second, Henry smells like a hippie. Troy got him a natural/organic flea collar that also makes him smell better. Better is questionable. He smells like a hippie.

More tomorrow, if I don't lose my mind on research.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Today was better than the last few days have been. A bit less stressful, a bit more positive. I know I've said it a lot, but I really love my job.

Henry's been pukey today- twice in the last several hours. He throws up fairly often, but usually after eating. I don't know why he's sick, but hopefully it will pass. Yummy subject, huh?

This weekend I will be doing lots of work for grad school. I have something to work on for each of my three courses, so I am going to get a lot done! I might have to say that several times to actually convince myself.

Umm... My life is boring. I have nothing more to add. Maybe tomorrow? We'll see.

Ugh

Today was just a very down day for me. I'm struggling with some anger over aspects of my job and how the principal at my school handles things. I get so attached to my students, and I want them to have the best days at school that they can. Yesterday was a bad day for one of my kids, and I can't do anything to change the situation. I'm very concerned and upset, and I guess I just need time to let it go. I know most everyone has a boss at work, but there's a very dictatorial aura about my principal. I'm tired of it.

I still love teaching, though. They'd better not forget where the battle described in the Star-Spangled Banner took place. Just to see, anyone out there remember off hand? (Anyone... anyone... Bueller...)

I'm hanging in there, though. Just four months til I get a break!

Overwhelmed

I'm working on holding off a sense of panic. There's a lot of work to be done in the next several months, and I'm hoping to get it all done, and done well. People keep asking if I'm doing anything fun for spring break, but my only response is "work." Its a good thing I love my job, or else the "work" would drive me crazy.

In a previous post, I referred to a smell of bananas. I still have no idea what the smell was.

The weather is pretty nice now. Although fall is my favorite season, spring has some positive aspects. Daffodils, cool weather, sunshine... Not too bad. Our yard needs a ton of work. I need to lay new mulch, weed, and create some new flower beds. Not to mention all the clover that is starting to grow back from last year! Maybe I'll just pull out all the grass and mulch the yard. That would make life a tad easier. Our neighbors might complain, though.

People at school are starting to really notice my weight loss. Its nice. Just imagine how I'll look after another thirty-five pounds! Perhaps I'll find a nice bikini for the cruise. I'm excited about the cruise. Troy's never been on one, so I'm sure he's really looking forward to it as well.

I ran on Sunday, just for ten minutes or so. I have no idea why I love running like I do. I guess its more of my lovable weirdness.

Weekend

I had considered driving down to Tennessee this weekend to hang out with Mom. I'm kinda glad I stayed here. I had a lot of fun at the Dollar Tree, had a good dinner with Troy and Will, and got some research done for a big paper. It is always great to see my family, but I think I needed to stay here, rest, and get things done.

My paper will be on the "Language Experience Approach" in reading and writing instruction. Sounds really interesting, doesn't it? I'm just thrilled.

I'm reading a funny book called "Hotel Pastis" by Peter Mayle. He wrote the books that led to the BBC miniseries A Year In Provence. He's hilarious if you haven't read anything by him before. He makes me want to move to France and buy baguettes. Lynchburg isn't very amusing, as the only thing that I can really make fun of is Jerry Falwell. They'd probably burn my house down if I was too outspoken about him.

I smell bananas. There are no bananas in my house. I'd better go investigate.

Henry

Last night Henry slept out of his crate for the first time. He spent most of the night on the bed, where his whole thirty-five pounds kept Troy from stretching out properly. I think the decision to let him sleep out had a lot to do with the story from my previous post. I reread it again today with the same reaction- complete waterworks. I feel very lucky to have Henry. Have I mentioned how cute he is?!?

I'm trying to come up with some cool things to talk about. School, grad school, and Henry consume all my time, so they are all I really have to talk about. I'd talk about Troy, but I don't think this is the place, unless its a funny anecdote. So my devoted reader will just have to put up with the mundane details of my life. Love you, T!

Most Depressing Story Ever

To read, go here: http://www.repeatafterus.com/title.php?i=7483

So maybe you won't want to read it. I find it to be very sad, and I cried in the middle of one of my graduate courses as I read it aloud with a partner. Horrific as it is, I felt it was an important story to read.

The highlight of the class? Finding out I made a 100% on the midterm. The prof actually wrote "A+" on the paper. I'm so showing to all my students tomorrow!

IEPs

In theory, the individualized education program is a wonderful idea. No longer will children be forced to survive solely on the cookie cutter education that their "normal" peers receive! Hoorah- for the special needs child will get exactly what they need! But... wait... The students still have to learn the same amount of material and pass the same tests as their "normal" peers. In other words, the President of the United States must think that my Masters in Special Education is the same thing as a freakin' magic wand. They don't get division on their own? Let me tap them twice on the head with my wand and they'll be doing calculus. Enough on that.

I'm slightly up in the air about getting another dog this summer. Henry is an amazing little guy who really deserves a pal to play with while we're at work all day. Two dogs also multiplies the work exponentially. For example, its really easy to take Henry with us when we travel. Two dogs would probably have to stay home and get walked and fed by a neighbor. Its so hard to decide! Plus, Henry's growing out of the puppy stage, and I miss having a teeny tiny little dog around. I think Henry's best interest should win out, which would involve someone to keep him company.

Monday's nearly over. Hopefully the rest of the week goes as fast as today did.

Maryland, Part 2

Home again. The laundry has been started and Henry's had his bath. He got really dirty playing in Jack's backyard, but boy did he have fun! The drive home was fine- I slept at least half the way.

We spent nearly an hour with Meme today, and it was much better than yesterday. We took in some photos that I printed off the computer and she really liked them. Our conversation today was more about family and memories. I tried to talk a lot about things that happened years ago, since I think her long-term memory is better than her short-term memory. She would change some names around, but that's fairly normal for older people. She made a couple of off-the-wall comments, but they weren't nearly as strange as yesterday's visit. I think she's a lot more lucid in the mornings.

I'm going to try to write to her twice a week. I really feel bad that she's in the nursing home and in such rough shape. I wish there was more I could do.

We're going to be bums this evening- this week will be back to the norm for me with tutoring and classes, so I'll be busy. It's crunch time for the next several months. No more slouching off!