Marie's E-Journal

Friday, January 23, 2009

Monday, January 19, 2009

Multimedia message

two t overalls and size six boots- so big!

Running

Ah, another heartfelt outpouring of sentimental mush. You have been warned- its coming.

I started running again today. To me, running has nothing to do with weight loss or health. It connects me to Daddy. There is a clarity that comes with my memories of running with Daddy, and I remember things I probably wouldn't if I hadn't been running. As a sped teacher, I know it probably has something to do with my learning modalities. But I remember our first run, and I remember all the things Daddy told me when I was running so hard I couldn't talk and I told him to tell me things so I wouldn't think about running.

I want to run again to get as close as I can to the closest thing I've got to Daddy. I want to run with Uncle Jack. He's been after me, and I have been full of excuses. Pregnant. Nursing. Too fat. Too tired. Too busy. But now the wanting has caught up with me. I'd rather have the emotional connection than the excuses. So I'm going to run.

I started a "get started in running" program. I ran 1 minute then walked 2 minutes for 30 minutes. I went 1.84 miles on the treadmill and burned 237 calories. And it really wasn't that bad.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Sunday, January 11, 2009

A Few Words

I don't write on here much. Not sure why, but there it is. For those of you who only come for the pictures, you can just ignore this.

The day I found out I was pregnant with Grant, I stepped on the scale. 185. Not bad, although its more than I should've been for my height. I'd been at 206 by Thanksgiving a few years before, so I'd lost 20 pounds on my own.

Anyway, 185. I ate pretty well through my pregnancy, I thought. None of that "eating for two" crap. I didn't go crazy, and my TA Gwyn helped me keep the sugar sparse in my diet. I think I was 248 at the appointment before I went into labor. 60 pounds! Yikes!

So Grant was born, I started nursing and not dieting, and when he was about two months old, I weighed about 225. I did Weight Watchers, tried running (although it really messed up my joints to run at 210 pounds), then did nothing for awhile.

Two months ago, I weight 200 pounds. I started Atkins. I've lost 20 pounds just on that, so I'm down to 180. Grant's at the age when we're thinking about a second, possibly next year. So I'd like to keep losing and be 20-30 pounds lighter starting this time. And maybe not gain as much, although I don't know how to not gain as much. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

So there it is. In two years I've gained and lost some unGodly amount of weight. At least I can put some "lost" in there. I run up the steps now and skip down the hall at school. I feel lighter and younger. I'm also not sleeping as much- 7-8 hours instead of 9-10.

Other good things? I have a fabulous teaching assistant now. She's got years of experience and is so nice. I'm so thankful to get to share my room with her for the rest of the year.

Grant is signing and talking more- he signs more, finished, help, and milk. He says all sorts of things, usually stuff we can't understand. The cutest is when we ask a question and he says "K" for yes. He also tests our patience with standing on the couch. He's learning about time out. He starts to cry when we admonish him, and its pitifully cute.

There you go- my life in a few paragraphs.