Friday, December 14, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Tennessee
I know I haven't posted a pic in a few days. I sent one in, but it didn't ever post. It happens sometimes, and I get frustrated. However, I will ramble a bit about the weekend.
I enjoy spending time with my mom. However, my trips to TN over the last year and a half have been difficult. I barely remember the drive on July 5th, 2006. Now I know just about everything about the route- we even have certain waitresses at the Cracker Barrel at exit 77 that we recognize. We've made the trip a lot. This drive was better. There was no illness to deal with. It was like a normal visit. No dreading or worrying or feeling guilty.
Being at the house is interesting, too. Its like Daddy's just out. Everywhere I turn, I'm reminded of "Sick Daddy." The whole time he was in that house, he was sick. Troy sat in his chair at the table. I laid on his orange sofa. I stripped the bed he died in because Grant spit up on the sheets. I had trouble sleeping because I was listening for him falling.
Speaking of falling, Mom tripped off a curb at a restaurant yesterday. She was wet and embarrassed. I started to cry once I got her inside. It was like Daddy again. I looked around the corner of the car, and she was laying on the pavement with a dazed look on her face. It scared me a lot.
I guess the point of this is that I thought I was doing pretty well. I've been amazed at how I can look at the pictures of Daddy on my desk at work and not bawl. I can talk about my dad, most of the time, with peace. But being at the house again really took me back to a sad and maddening state.
I still miss my Daddy.
I enjoy spending time with my mom. However, my trips to TN over the last year and a half have been difficult. I barely remember the drive on July 5th, 2006. Now I know just about everything about the route- we even have certain waitresses at the Cracker Barrel at exit 77 that we recognize. We've made the trip a lot. This drive was better. There was no illness to deal with. It was like a normal visit. No dreading or worrying or feeling guilty.
Being at the house is interesting, too. Its like Daddy's just out. Everywhere I turn, I'm reminded of "Sick Daddy." The whole time he was in that house, he was sick. Troy sat in his chair at the table. I laid on his orange sofa. I stripped the bed he died in because Grant spit up on the sheets. I had trouble sleeping because I was listening for him falling.
Speaking of falling, Mom tripped off a curb at a restaurant yesterday. She was wet and embarrassed. I started to cry once I got her inside. It was like Daddy again. I looked around the corner of the car, and she was laying on the pavement with a dazed look on her face. It scared me a lot.
I guess the point of this is that I thought I was doing pretty well. I've been amazed at how I can look at the pictures of Daddy on my desk at work and not bawl. I can talk about my dad, most of the time, with peace. But being at the house again really took me back to a sad and maddening state.
I still miss my Daddy.
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